Control

Control! Wow, how this word has taken on such a different meaning and has such a different effect on me since my son was diagnosed, almost five years ago, with Type 1 diabetes.

Control – I used to think it was the supreme power I exercised not to eat the last slice of cake.

Control – the amazing ability my boy has had to manage his emotions when judged by those who do not understand him and the effort he makes each and every day to live a life with Type 1 diabetes.

Control – the special power I now use to keep calm when people judge my son.

Control – something that, as an outsider, I can see is very difficult to have in relation to life and living with Type 1 diabetes.

Control – a word not used by people who understand the complexity of life with a chronic condition.

Control – The thing I did not recently exercise of my eyeballs when my son was treated with respect and dignity by health care professionals who were working with him. The tears momentarily flowed in gratitude then we all smiled.

Control – the huge capacity my son has to put up with me checking in on him and asking how he is doing in all things in life but especially in relation to his diabetes. The supreme effort he puts in not to roll his eyes as I gradually try to ask those questions less and let him take over. It is so very, very hard to do this after five years of being there, every step of the way.

So, I say, Feck calm and WTF is control anyway?

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